As we come back from the commercial break to our talk show, What’s Up with Jayden Weaver, the male character, Jason Tanner, is seated beside the female character, Boston Komen, (from the young adult techno-thriller novel, DiSemblance). Jayden Weaver, our hostess, is interviewing them.
“No,” Jason says, “the real problem is that Boston won’t admit she has feelings for me.”
A picture of Boston appears on the big screen behind them as the camera zooms in on a close up of her face. The blood drains from her cheeks and her eyes widen in astonishment.
The silence in the auditorium is nearly palpable with the questions of hundreds of inquiring minds.
Boston’s lips move, but nothing is heard.
“What was that?” Jayden says.
*** COMMERCIAL BREAK***
Click Here is you Want to Learn More bout Boston.
You can now go to Amazon.com to buy DiSemblance!
Below are parts of the Editorial Letter for DiSemblance.
1. ”Overall the manuscript is in good shape. The characters are strong and the plot is perfectly paced. This was an exciting read and a joy to edit.” (Maybe this is bragging, but she said, “An exciting read and a joy to edit! Fun stuff!)
2. “Characterization is one of the strengths in this manuscript. Each character was unique and well depicted.” …”Placing Bruce and Angela at odds with the case was an excellent choice to deepen the tension between them. Normally, the reader expects the detectives to handle cases in tandem, yet you chose to have them in opposition, to an extent. Nice.”
3. ”The handling of the story’s plot was one of the strongest points of the manuscript. …You created a novel idea of having a killer who targets terminally ill patients and then leaves them with a paid-for coffin and money for the family. The plot flows beautifully and moves along at an ideal pace. Adding characters (such as Daisy and Patricia) to help move the story along worked very well. The gentle surprises seemed well thought out and added suspense. The side story occurring between Bruce and Lisa was a great choice. It helped break up the intensity of the Comfort Killer case.”
4. Structure: ”You created a nice, smooth transition from the chapters with Jason and Isaac, and the ones with Bruce. They were well balanced.”
To be fair–I did need some help. Here are some of the changes I made:
1. “In some places I tightened up the writing a bit.” …”It’s always best to “show” the reader how a character feels or behaves by his or her actions or words. Trust your writing, because it’s good.” (Basically she cut out some phrases I had because I didn’t really need them.)
2. ”The grammar was in good shape overall. Most of my changes involved comma use.” (I hate commas! Thank goodness for editors!)
3. ”In addition I made sure that the manuscript follows Chicago Manual of Style guidelines.”
—Valerie, CreateSpace Editor
For the last three years every time I see my brother, Wade, he asks,
“What’s your book about?”
And every time (which is very seldom since he lives in Utah and I live in Alaska) I have failed to produce an answer because it is too hard for me to write a summary I like. Now (after paying someone else to do it for me) I finally have it.
Here it is Wade, the answer you have been waiting for:
The lines between reality and virtual reality are about to blur—and the result is murder.
Lloyd Tanner is a former MIT computer physics genius turned private sector visionary: he has created a hologram machine that can create digital immortality. This revolutionary technology is both a blessing and a curse. There are many who would steal the technology, and Lloyd’s family has had to live secluded from the world. But no matter how careful you are, there is no such thing as a well-kept secret, and there are those who will stop at nothing to get their hands on Lloyd’s.
Detective Bruce Durante has been handed the case of the Comfort Killer, a serial killer so named because he abducts terminally ill patients and returns their corpses to their families in refrigerated coffins. Picking up the trail, Durante finds it leading straight to the home of Lloyd Tanner.
When Jason Tanner’s father is murdered and framed as the Comfort Killer, Jason destroys all of the evidence in an attempt to save his father’s name. Trouble is, now Jason is in the crosshairs to become the fall guy. Having spent much of his youth living in the virtual world his father created, he must now go on the run for real if he is going to save himself, his brother, and the beautiful girl next door. But the secrets of his father’s invention run deep and Jason, his brother Isaac, Boston, the Comfort Killer, and Detective Durante hurtle towards one another on a deadly collision course that leaves everyone’s life hanging in the balance.
An exciting, action-packed ride to a future happening today, Shanae Branham’s modern techno thriller is the perfect exhilarating adrenaline rush for a techno-savvy generation. Expertly weaving cutting-edge technology with almost unbearable suspense, she crafts a wild, white-knuckled thriller that pushes the boundaries of science. Full of intensity and extraordinary vision, DiSemblance attacks the senses as it challenges the mind and imagination.